I am a breakfast person. I find it an extremely difficult meal to skip. I’m also very likely to eat the same thing for breakfast for months and months and months with no fatigue– although I never eat lunch or dinner that way. In any case, for years, my staple breakfast foods have been yogurt with fruit and granola, or oatmeal. I very rarely eat anything else, unless we go out to eat for breakfast– which happens extremely rarely as my husband, inexplicably, is not a breakfast fan.
Growing up, I wasn’t allowed sugary breakfast cereals. My stepmom had a huge tupperware container, into which she would dump three or four boxes of generic, unsweetened plain cereals like Crunchy O’s and Puffed Rice to make a foul mixture that tasted like dust and death. God, how I hated that cereal, and the skim milk I was supposed to eat it with. Yuck!
I did occasionally eat better cereals when I visited my grandparents, but my grandmother was a big fan of the Real Breakfast: pancakes, waffles, toast eggs, sausage, ham, things of that nature. I didn’t often choose to eat cereal (which was usually something like Raisin Bran) when faced with that kind of smorgasboard.
Lately, for whatever reason, I’ve been going through a Kid Cereals phase. I made Rice Krispy treats a few weeks ago, and have since been eating Rice Krispies, Honey Nut Cheerios, and Lucky Charms (I wish I were kidding) for the first time in my life (that I can remember). By the way? Marshmallows in cereal? GENIUS. Also, we don’t drink skim milk in my house, its always 1% or 2%, which to me is all the difference in the world.
I think I need to lay off the Rice Krispy treats, though, because I broke another stupid tooth last night chewing on one. It just about a month ago that I broke the corner off a molar on the bottom right side of my mouth, necessitating my first trip to the dentist (I hate the dentist) (excluding getting my wisdom teeth removed) since I was a teenager. Oy. I had to get a crown, which meant a lot of unfun shots in the gum and drilling, and better than a week of recovery pain. Yay, now I have that look forward to on the exact same tooth on the left side. Its kinda freaky that my teeth are all giving up the ghost at the same time. I’m starting to wonder if there is something else wrong.
In other medical adventures, I did make it to the psychiatrist finally, last Friday. Ambien has been nothing short of a miracle for me. Just being able to get a reasonable night of sleep has made a difference for me. I’m also now taking Zoloft, but its only been a couple days since I started taking it and can’t say I feel any different except for a few minor adjustment side effects (of the gastronintestinal variety). I had done my research and was hoping for a prescription for Wellbutrin instead of or in addition to an SSRI, but its contraindicated for people with active eating disorder, and the psychiatrist (rather peremptorily, in my opinion) labeled my history of bingeing and purging EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). Eh, whatever. I had hoped for the Wellbutrin because one of its well-known side effects is significant weight loss; 10 lbs on average in one study that I read. Of course, that’s not a really good reason to ask for or be prescribed a powerful psychoactive medication, so I tried to accept his refusal to offer it to me gracefully. He is, of course, looking out for my best interests, so that’s a good thing, really.
He did tell me that Zoloft is “weight neutral,” which means clinical trials have not found any significant weight loss or gain. In his experience, patients who lose their appetite and therefore lose some weight while depressed will tend to gain a few pounds with any antidepressant that is helping them get out of the depression; and also, the converse, since I tend to comfort eat and pack on a few pounds when depressed (not to mention my running and other workouts have fallen by the wayside lately), he would expect to see a decrease in my food intake and possible minimal weight loss.
Not that I am getting all excited envisioning the magical emergence of the Skinny Girl Trapped Inside Mae now that I am getting treated for my depression, but I would like to see my eating habits return to those that I am used to. Sunday was a tough day– the last day of my three-day weekend and the day I had to take my husband to the airport for a monthlong work trip– and I ate the following: a bowl of Lucky Charms, tortilla chips and guacamole, most of a bottle of peach/orange juice, and a couple Rice Krispy Treats. That is an extremely junk-filled, unusual day for me. I normally eat very nutritiously, lots of fruits and vegetables and lean protein. I was just too plowed under by everything yesterday to muster the energy to do anything but eat lazily and feel sorry for myself.